


The First Time

by janne_d



Category: due South
Genre: M/M, Plot What Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-04-07
Updated: 2005-04-07
Packaged: 2017-10-05 13:32:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janne_d/pseuds/janne_d
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So, is this 'oh my God, fall three storeys into Lake Michigan to get away' terrified, or terrified in a 'hot, shaky, I don't know why I'm doing this but I don't want to stop' way?"</p><p>Ben doesn't even look away this time, though he blushes up to the roots of his hair.</p><p>"The second option."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The First Time

**Author's Note:**

> Response to the ds_flashfiction Sexual Exploration Challenge. Thank you to torakowalski for the beta.

"Ben, hey, look at me. You're sure you want to do this? You still feel okay?"

"Yes, of course Ray, I feel fine."

Whoopee. He feels fine. Well, Ray feels just fine and dandy now, oh yeah, _real_ happy, because Ben's lips might be saying 'fine' but his eyes are saying something totally different.

"Okay. We're done here. I'm getting off this merry-go-round of fun right now. Because that? That just does not cut it!"

Christ, can't Ben see he's nervous here, that he maybe needs to hear more than that? Ben hadn't exactly been shy about any of this earlier, so what was with the 'fine' thing now?

He jumps up and paces for a while, trying to calm down, before turning back to Ben. Who's looking a little anxious and pretty confused, like Ray has suddenly turned into a Martian or something. Which is actually fairly normal for the two of them (though mostly it's Ray looking around for the little green men) but not really what he wants to see right now.

"Ray, what is it? Is there something… did I say something wrong?"

"Frase, you said you were _fine_."

Now he looks like Ray's Martian antennae are dancing the hula, so Ray figures he'd better add some stuff to that.

"I mean, that's not exactly the big enthusiasm I'd like to hear right now. Call me crazy, but I was actually shooting for something more along the lines of 'wonderful', especially since this was _your_ idea."

"But Ray, fine means good, it's a positive response."

"Uh-uh buddy, not the way you use it. Fine never means fine with you, it means that you've broken both your legs, or some fat-ass trailer trash has sat on The Hat, or Frannie's got you cornered and you need a rescue. It means you're uncomfortable as hell but you're too polite to say so. If you've changed your mind, if you're just keeping going because you think backing out now would be rude, then yeah, something is wrong big time and I need to go kick someone in the head. Probably me, which could get messy."

Difficult as it is, Ray keeps his eyes on Fraser's face the whole time so he doesn't miss anything and he sees the way Fraser goes from lost to worried and upset on the polite thing. He sounds pretty upset when he finally manages to get some words out too.

"No! Ray, that's not… I don't mean that, truly, I'm not being polite. Well, naturally I try to be polite in all situations because courtesy is important in any human interaction, but that's not what I. I mean, I do, but,"

And then he grinds to a halt looking embarrassed and pleading, so Ray sits back down, squeezes his shoulder reassuringly and speaks as gently as he can manage.

"Look, it's okay, all of it, really Ben. If you don't know how you feel, or you aren't ready for this, or you've changed your mind, it's alright, we'll deal. Promise. But you've got to tell me. You can't leave me guessing here, this is too important."

He looks away at that, and Ray resigns himself to this thing being over before it ever starts, but Ben's never learned how to be a coward. After a second he nods, swallows hard and looks straight back up into Ray's eyes; his voice is even mostly steady when he speaks.

"You're right, Ray. I don't feel fine. I feel. I didn't quite anticipate feeling so… I feel… terrified."

Well, hallelujah. He can work with that.

"So, is this 'oh my God, fall three storeys into Lake Michigan to get away' terrified, or terrified in a 'hot, shaky, I don't know why I'm doing this but I don't want to stop' way?"

Ben doesn't even look away this time, though he blushes up to the roots of his hair.

"The second option."

So Ray nods and takes his turn at the hard-swallowing thing. Then he moves down the bed a little, spreads Ben's legs wide apart and slides the soft leather cuffs round his ankles, just like he'd done to Ben's wrists. He lets his hands stay there a while longer, stroking the skin around and under the leather, sliding it up and down until Ben's eyes go from uncertain to hot and he gasps Ray's name.

He finally lets himself look away from Ben's face then, licking his lips as his eyes move down over the bare, smooth flesh, spread out and tied down for him like a feast.

He'd never have thought that his pure-alpha-male Ben would want to give up control like this, let alone have the nerve to flat-out ask for it, but here they are. And no question that Ben really wants it, he's so far gone that he's shaking and his cock is already leaking, looking all wet and lickable so that Ray has to swallow again to keep from drooling.

Oh yeah. This is going to be amazing.

And after, he'll show Ben he isn't the only one who can push some boundaries. Ray has a collar stashed in a drawer that he's never had the guts to put on, but he's already planning how to ask Ben to do it for him. Because it seems Ben has a real thing for this leather-and-bondage deal and Ray can't wait to see his face when he gets on his knees and hands it over.

Right now though, it's all about Ben's wants. Ray's going to drive him absolutely crazy, just like Ben always drives him, going to make Ben scream and beg for it, fuck him so hard he'll feel it for years. He's about to get the ride of his life.

Ray is going to give Ben everything he's asked for. Then he's going to do some asking of his own.


End file.
